How To Love Yourself & Your Body Unconditionally

Hey again,

Before we begin to delve into all things fashion, I just wanted to make this post about self love.

Self love comes at the beginning of everything, like Mamma Ru says, " If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else". Which is so true !

Self Love comes an a variety of different things and there is no short way to answer 'how to love yourself'. But there are a few things that have helped me with my self love journey, and that have helped me become the person who I am today.

We live with ourselves every minute of every day for the rest of our lives, therefore if you're living in a mind & a body that is constantly battling with it's-self, and not appreciating the beauty of who you are as a person; mind, body, and soul. I'm sorry but it's going to be an awful and tough ride. We all need to learn a little bit of self love and to not be our own worst enemy, and not to be so harsh and critical towards ourselves. This is extremely important regardless of age, race, weight, religion, gender or sexuality.

MY STORY:

Growing up I always knew I was always bigger then the rest of my friends and also the people that I went to school with, and I always remember thinking why am I like this ? why am I so much bigger than everybody else ? what makes them so skinny? why do I not look like them? and I feel that even though it's minor. However, being a teenager and going through puberty the way you look is constantly at the forefront and the hottest topic of conversation. Especially being in a secondary school environment, it builds up and builds up to the point it becomes toxic, and self- hatred really does start to settle in.

I have always been quite confident and outgoing, especially because I used to do sports like dancing and cheerleading which allows you to put on a performance, therefore allowed me to detach myself from my thoughts and emotions. I could reflect this in real life when being around my friends or family or being in any public situation. It was as though my confidence was like my armour, my shield in which nothing could hurt or phase me. But on the inside I was really having a tough time with accepting myself for who I was.

Looking back on in it was crazy that I thought that feeling like I wasn't ever good enough was "normal". I thought that hating who you are... was "normal". I thought that not even waning to look in the mirror... was "normal", and I thought everyone goes around thinking in this way. It genuinely did not dawn on me that there is another way of thinking; that you could actually love yourself and appricate and accept yourself for who you are.

It wasn't until I was about 19/20 where I really started to appreciate myself and love myself for me. Not from seeking any sort of validation from anyone else.

When I turned 18 and moved away to uni, I started to get attention and a lot of it. People wanted to be my friend, I don't know why but yeah.. they did. I also started to get attention from a lot of boys not men... boys. They would actively go out their way to talk to me or flirt with me or even go as far to "get with me" on nights out. and I would think oh my fu*cking god this is amazing! literally I felt as though I was flying. Because I never had that before. Because what people forget is that your school and home town are very small and even though you may not fit in there, there is a whole world out there who accept you for you, fancy you and are attracted to you.

However you do not need this validation from other people to know that you are worthy, and beautiful. You should know WITHIN YOURSELF to know that you are beautiful within your heart of hearts. You really and truly need to understand this in order to start your self love journey.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE SLIM TO BE BEAUTIFUL 

FIRST STEPS INTO YOUR NEW SELF LOVE JOURNEY 

1. Follow people on social media that uplift you and and give off good vibes. Who aren't afraid "to rock it" and who aren't afraid to be who they are, and love who they are.

For example:

• Emma Tamsin 
• Nella Rose 
• Rachel Leary 
• Flossie
• Jackie Aina  

All of the above really do love themselves and embrace who they are and understand where they are at each point in time. Also bringing comedy and light heartedness to the forefront to every aspect of their social media which will in turn uplift you.

2. Stop Comparing yourself to others, I know we live in a time where it is so hard to not do this. We open Instagram and there are V.S models, all of the Kardashians, rappers who flex about money, and normal everyday people talking and celebrating about their new promotion, or  getting the job of their dreams, or even about their new relationship, and we think oh my gosh I am no where near that, but we don't ever stop and think about how that person got there, how many rejections that person got or how many times has that person got ' unfortunately we will not be continuing with your application', how many hours that person has put into that company and how many failed talking stages. No one ever wants to portray their "L'S". Because if you do it is seen as somewhat of a failure, and that is not true. Just remember to stay in your lane- its a marathon not a sprint, and do not be afraid to fail because within failure comes growth and life lessons. 

3. Accept who you are and to accept what you think your flaws are, because acceptance is the first stage to having a complete and utter new outlook on life. look at all the little things that make you who you are, and even if you don't like it, tell yourself you love it and you are proud of it and soon you will start to believe the things that you are telling yourself. This does not happen over night or in the next few weeks or months you really do have to be persistent with this. like I said before its a marathon not a sprint. 

4. Speak to yourself with kind and loving words ! please do not sit and pick yourself apart with negative and horrible words, because you are our own worst enemy you do not need your head battling you. Telling you things like you're ugly and you're never going to be successful. You really do not need that. What you need is love and support and speak to yourself as if you would speak to your friend and give them advice if they had a bad day. For example say to yourself if you're having a bad day " Okay you're having a bad day and that's okay, tomorrow is another day and we move and look forward to the blessings that we will receive tomorrow".

5. Positive Affirmations is a  way to help you on your self love journey. To seek positive affirmations look at yourself and saying I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am strong, I am invincible, all of these things although it might seem a bit silly, however physically say it out loud and repeat it until you feel a smile and change in attitude because the more you say it the more you believe it and it will eventually become true.

6. Self- Care is important in order for you to feel more confidant in which helps you on your self love journey. Go and get your hair done or nails done, do regular pamper evenings or do your eyebrows, treat yourself to a new top or go and get the coffee that you absolutely love, because we want to install positivity into your live and there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first especially when you are in your early 20's.

Remember, this is your life and no one else can live it for you and only you can ultimately make yourself happy. 

Thank you for reading I know it was a bit of a long one but you finally made it to the end !  

I hope this helped & I hope to  see you soon  

Deneesha xo