My Experience With Covid-19

Hey guys.. so I wanted to get a little serious with you all. 

So I know that bars and pubs are opening now, and it just seems as though the Corona Virus has vanished and the pandemic is over... and for many of you it is over in your minds. 

As a lot of you have had to just sit at home for 3 months... or work from home..

Well it was a different case for me...

On the 6th of April 2020 my Nan passed away to the Corona Virus. Then on the 8th of April 2020 my Grandad passed away to the Corona virus and of a broken heart. 

I can not even begin to discribe the pain and hurt it has caused me and my family. 

The crazy and surreal thing about it is because it happened so quickly and everything changed within a matter of days. 

My nan had been ill as she had just undergone radiation therapy for cancer, so her immune system was very low. 

However doctors just put it down to a chest infection and didn't think anymore of it, and they just kept on giving her courses of antibiotics. It wasn't until we all [my family] started developing the same thing 

and honestly guys, I have never experienced anything like it. 

I could barely breath, I had a very dry cough, I was extremely hot however my skin was cold and literally every bone in my body hurt and ached - it was a real struggle to get out of bed.

The best way that I could describe it is like laying in hardened cement. 

every breath and every move was exhausting. 

Now i'm not saying that I had a confirmed case of the Corona Virus, however I am just putting 2+2 and getting 4. 

I would like to add in as well that both of my grandparents did live with me at the time.

So make of that what you will. 

Within 24 hours mine and my family's symptoms did clear up.

However things wasn't looking that way for my nan and grandad.

My nan was the first to into hospital, and no one could go with her because obviously with the social distancing and also It could have been a confirmed case of the virus, the ambulance crew took proportion just in case, and the outbreak wouldn't spread anymore. ( this was on Saturday)

Wednesday we received news that it was a confirmed case of Covid-19, and she would have to be transferred to the ICU ward. However they could not incubate her as her as it would mean that it would be terminal. 

When my grandad heard this news I just saw his heart completely shatter into a million pieces. 

I just felt every inch of him did not want to carry on anymore.

That day we all decided that he should go into hospital too because, even though he wasn't as bad as my nan, he also wasn't well too. 

My mum was back and forth from the hospital as she was the only one that was able to go. 

My nan was very up and down especially on the Friday, we got news from the consultant to prepare for the worst as she wouldn't make it through the night.

Obviously my mum went straight to the hospital, but for my brother and I all we could do is sit and wait... 

I remember sat... waiting... in silence... for over 4 hours... not even thinking... just sat there...

and I remember my mum calling me to say that everything is going to be okay and that my nan was doing better...

My mum said that she remembers stroking my nan har and saying "don't fight it mum its okay" 

and my nan opened her eyes and said "where am I going I aint going no where, I could do with a glass of pressecco if I'm honest !" 

Over the course of the weekend from what we knew she was doing okay she was eating agin by herself drinking by herself and because my grandad also heard this news he started to perk up. 

However by the early hours of Monday morning everything had changed, the doctors said that she will not be able to get over this, and the ICU machine was the thing that is keeping her alive, the doctor's and nurses kept on giving her morphine but it wasn't satisfying her. The doctor said to my mum it would be cruel to keep the machines on any longer... [she was her next of kin]

So my mum face-timed my uncle and they both decided to take the ventilation mask off.

My nan passed away in 8 minutes...

When my grandad heard this news he just sobbed and my mum said that was the first time in her life she has seen her dad cry.

Within a matter of hours my grandads health just deteriorated, and he was confirmed to have a confirmed case of Covid-19. 

However I feel as though he would have survived the virus, as it was other vital internal organs that were failing it wasn't just the lungs.. it was kidneys... liver... heart... He just did not want to carry on living without his wife by his side.

within 48 hours my grandad passed away. 

 The weeks leading up to the funeral was something else.. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat... and I swear that my grandparents were haunting me. 

My mum said to me that its old West Indian belief that if people die quickly that their sprit still thinks they are living, and that they are still among us and they think you are ignoring them, and that is why you can feel a presents, because they are angry and they are trying to reach out to you.

and I felt that.. truly...

Honestly me and my family have never been through so much salt in all our lives.

and to this day I'm still walking into a rooms backwards !

When it came to the funeral there was only 15 people that was allowed to attend. They couldn't even be berried in their own clothes.. they had to wear this white gowns with frilly necks, like a choir boy. 

We had to stand around the grave as the minister did the service, as we wasn't allowed to use the chapel. 

I remember walking up to the grave and seeing my grandads coffin staring back at me. It was probably one of the most surreal moments of my life... 

 The amount of shock and trauma that my family experienced in April is enough to last a lifetime, and I think that people aren't really aware of the pain and hurt that the Corona Virus has actually brought into this world not just for me... but literally for millions of other people.

I get it as well.. you don't ever think you would be able to get something like it 

as it is all facts and statistics it doesn't seem real.

 I know I was one of them! I literally had the virus and went to work for a day and didn't think anything of it.. I though ahh its alright its just morning sniffles i'll be alright within the hour .

ummm no hun you was really wrong. 

It does't apply to everyday life and when you hear about how many people are actually passing away from this virus people can't fathom 100k or 250k deaths. 

I feel like if there was an actual depiction of how many people have died, people would be more understanding. 

 I'm not saying live your life of absolute fear of the virus but to just be mindful of the situation when your out and about. 

I hope that you took something away from this 

and I will see you on Thursday 

Deneesha xo